Do you ever get the feeling you would have been better off staying in bed?
I actually feel like that most days but today is the absolute pinnacle of those ‘stay in bed days’. From being sprayed with baby poop in a delightful shade of mustard yellow to walking into the dining room to find that Mr Maker has moved in and shared the glitter glue with a couple of toddlers. All before I even get a minute to prepare for my neice’s impending arrival and at the very least chuck some clothes on, brush my hair and teeth and at least look half presentable.
Oh and picture the scene; Sat at the computer desk, itchy neck, screams insue, squished ladybird and complete guilt. I hate bugs. I can just about cope with Ladybirds and so looking at it’s lifeless body I do feel extremely guilty. In my defense, your honor, I did not know it was a Ladybird until I had squished it and it had fallen to the floor. I would have attempted CPR had I been familiar with the insect anatomy and been aware on which part to do the compressions and where to blow breath. I really did not fancy getting it wrong and putting the Ladybird’s bum to my mouth, just incase it had a bowel relax at that very time.
OMG!! It is still alive! I thought it was dead so placed it on my laptop and was sitting here wondering whether a funeral would be appropriate. Looking at it now, he/she certainly has a broken leg, do they make plastercasts that small? I have released the little Ladybird back into the wild, by that I mean I opened the front window and shoved it out. Hopefully it has some memory loss and will not be able to return here with the police later to arrest me for ABH.
Right that was just another nail in today’s coffin. What else will go wrong before lunchtime? Is it not bad enough that my little angels (using the term very loosely here) have been asking for lunch since they finished breakfast? That the half a pound of fruit they have devoured is not sufficient and demands for “lunch” still continue? The fact that the eldest is attempting to cut up everything in sight with a pair of plastic scissors and the middle child is crayollaing her clothes and the poop dispenser is doing just that, dispensing more poop, is this not bad enough? Surely there will be a reprieve sometime today? Perhaps my neice would like to babysit while I go on holiday for a month or so?
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